Mind & behavior · 2016
Can being asked directly for help make you like the person asking more?
Yes, that happened in an experiment with Japanese and American participants. After a person working with the researchers directly asked them for help, participants liked that person more than at baseline. No such increase was found when participants helped without a direct request, so the finding does not mean that every favor will improve a relationship.
Details
Asking for help can burden someone and potentially harm a relationship. This experiment explored whether it could also create an opportunity to strengthen a relationship.
Japanese and American participants interacted with a person working with the researchers. When that person directly asked for help, participants showed increased liking compared with baseline. They also saw the person as more sociable and felt closer to them. These increases were not found when participants helped without being directly asked.
The findings suggest that a direct request, rather than helping alone, may offer an opportunity to build a relationship. However, the abstract does not report the sample size, the size of the changes, or whether they lasted. It does not establish that requests generally improve real-world relationships or eliminate the risk of burdening someone.
What do you think?
Good conversations begin with curiosity.
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