Money & society · 2024
Does letting someone choose a gift’s details seem less thoughtful than the giver expects?
Yes. Across multiple studies of gift givers and recipients, recipients saw gifts that let them choose specific details as less thoughtful and appreciated them less, while givers underestimated this downside. The gap was smaller in more socially distant relationships or when givers shared the details they had already selected. The abstract does not report the size of these differences.
Details
The research examined gifts that leave specific details for the recipient to choose, rather than a general choice between a surprise gift and asking someone what they want. It compared how recipients evaluated these gifts with how givers expected them to be received.
The central finding was a mismatch: recipients associated being given choices with less effort from the giver, saw the gift as less thoughtful and appreciated it less. Givers underestimated this negative response.
The mismatch was not equally strong in every situation. It diminished when the relationship was more socially distant or when givers provided information about the gift details they had preselected. That does not establish that the gap disappeared. The abstract reports multiple studies but gives no sample characteristics, detailed procedures or effect sizes, limiting conclusions about how large or broadly applicable the pattern is.
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