Mind & behavior · 2018
Do gratitude letters make recipients happier and less awkward than writers expect?
Yes—in three experiments, recipients reported feeling more positive and less awkward than letter writers had predicted. This comparison concerns recipients’ reported feelings after receiving gratitude letters; the abstract does not say how large the differences were or who took part.
Details
The researchers examined whether people accurately anticipate how their expressions of gratitude will be received. Participants wrote gratitude letters, then predicted how surprised, happy, and awkward the recipients would feel. Recipients subsequently reported their own reactions.
Writers significantly underestimated recipients’ positive feelings and overestimated their awkwardness. They also underestimated how surprised recipients would be about why the writers were grateful. The central finding was a gap between writers’ expectations and recipients’ reported experiences—not a comparison of gratitude letters with receiving no letter.
Expected awkwardness and mood were associated with participants’ willingness to express gratitude. The authors suggest that undervaluing the recipient’s response could discourage people from expressing thanks, but this association does not establish that mistaken expectations cause people to express gratitude less often in everyday life.
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